This has been one of the craziest past months of my life. I've been trying to understand whats been going on in this crazy life of mine. From things pulling away from me. To losing things. To having to give things away. None of it has made sense to me. All the things I have ever cherished seems to be fading away. For awhile I havent been able to understand it. I will be honest and say the way i have acted upon it was trying to hold time to items people and things I dont need. Week ago my grandpa passed away. This man was one of the most amazing people in my life. He comes from being hard working loving not the most perfect life but a great awesome grandpa. If it wasnt for him teaching me how to fish to go mushroom hunt and teaching his kids how to get through life and work hard I definetly would probably be a spoiled brat. Haha but i thank the Lord that He's given me some good people in my life :). He taught me so much in life and to work hard and have a positive outlook on everything. He didnt complain once as he had been fighting lukemia for a few years. And God finally took him home... I sat there and held his hand, sang with him, and I asked God why He was taking the one I look up to away. My heart was shattered. As I sat and wondered God opened my eyes to show me He is enough. God is always there and those possessions you hold are nothing compared to what Jesus did. My heart began to let go of those little things. I realized the selfishness in my heart and it was time to KICK it AWAY. There is nothing compared to what Jesus did on the Christ and how much He loved us to do that. I realized that people are going to fail you also and you really cannot be dependable or rely on them but you can still love them no matter what.
I love my 5 uncles there wives my 3 aunts and all my cousins and even my family. God has completely blessed me with a loving loving family. I spent so much time with them over the course of my grandpas last days and I have been so blessed to get to know all my family. I havent ever been that close with them but I see where God had mended these relationships opened doors and just worked in tremendous ways. :) and neat thing was right after Grandpas Celebration of life ceremony was over a new baby cousin was born in the family :)
Time is so crucial here on earth. We live in a sick and fallen world.. As I watched my grandpa struggling at the end as sadden just got the best of me.. Something I knew is that my grandpa wanted us to keep going in life being positive with our heads up high.. I have already felt like I had wasted so much time in the pastn dwelling, worrying, being fearful, and so on and I didnt want to waste anymore time with something I would regret. What is there to dwell worry or be fearful with we have Jesus?? I mean really think about it?? With everything going on in your life thats terrible or you dont understand... Pray and ask GOd what He's trying to show you through this time rather than trying to sit with it for a lonnnnnng time. HE DOES ANSWER AND LISTEN TO PRAYERS... Sometimes you just have to be patient. He is there with those loving arms ready to hold onto you no matter what it is. Again life isnt easy but God wont give you something you cant handle.. Trust in him... Its easy to say but so hard to do...
So I pray for any of you who are reading this struggling with possessions that you really give those little things up and focus on the Lord who is much more bigger than anything. I pray with what your going through happy sad angry and so on that you just rely on God in everything. Realize how you are spending your time and how you handle things... God is bigger than your problems. I pray you find joy and freedom one day that only the Lord can give you.
