Today I was thinking to myself.... wow if only... than I thought twice wait a minute I have everything I could possibly want or ask for and I don't deserve anything... I know im not the only one who suffers with the problem of wanting better or more.. but I have more than what I need.  I got great stand in families I got amazing friends... I got a real family who can give me what I want but you know what I realized Love... Growing up all I wanted was to feel love and be accepted and I am accepted today for who I am and I am so grateful I finally feel what it means to be accepted....  So i thought I would talk about some family's in this blog and give you a little back round on my life...

alexis Mom Me Jordan

 This is my real family... I love them dearly no matter what... I sadly don't have a picture of my dad but I do have one.  I wasnt really raised in a Christian home... There were some indications of Christianity but it was never enforced.  Life's been rough with them we all seemed to go our own separate ways.  We all keep to ourselves.  My family and I say this out of love I have learned and seen things what I do not want in my own family when i have my own and what I don't want my kids to ever go through.  I've seen a difference in raising your kids in a Christian setting and a non Christian setting and it amazes me the difference.  I love my siblings to death I wish i was around more to see them but they have lives to.  My mom it's been a struggle it may always be a struggle but she is my mom.  My dad is my dad.

Jaryd Andy Bryanna Loree Mikayla

 

 

 

This First family was my first Stand in family I really got to stay with.. I lived with them for 6 months but I knew the mom loree and bryanna and mikayla for almost 6 months before I moved in with them... I lived with them January 2009-June 2009 and from this day I have grown closer within 3 years.  This family really showed me what a family looks like theres ups theres downs but dealing with the issues also.  What was really different was they were a christian family...  I lived with a pastor and a worship leader.. I really got to grow and see what the Christian family is like... There not perfect but I love them forever..  Bryanna and Mikayla I love and care for them so much and the sister relationship we have.. Jaryd is my little bro who is awesome and i love deeply and care and can be a little stinker but he has a heart.  Andy and Loree I could not ask for better parents to open there door for me and have a loving heart.  I really learned alot what Family is and what Love from a family is in a whole other way... :) We are stillll close till this day busy life but close

Shari and Kip Hamby

 

 

This is another great family... I am so thankful for them :) After I moved out of the Veiths I really got to know them and Kip is also another pastor.  But Shari became another stand in mom for me.. She really kept me in my spot when I got out of line or wanted to drift another way.  She showed me Emmaus Bible College :) and she was right It was the place for me and she has supported me in many things i have been involved in... I became close with them my senior year of high school and I really learned that no matter what life does to you... keep your chin up and SMILE no matter what... One thing I liked is that they always made it clear that they were around to talk to and today there still around in my life... And I love them a whole lot

Crista and Brian DeVore

 Well This is my little church parents :) They are in charge of Act II which is a College group at Legacy Baptist Church I attend.  They have been a huge blessing in my life... They have opened there house up to me and are very awesome people to talk to and just be close with..  They are such a cute married couple... I've really got to see with them what a Christian couple or husband and wife really are and how they Love God more than each other.  I have known them for about a year almost and they are so awesome :)

Grace Christy sam Chad Pfeifle

Last but not Least my latest and greatest stand in family... :) Well first off I've known them for almost 5 years and I have lived with them for a year starting End of June 2010 :).  I am so AMAZED that I live with them because not in a million years did I expect to live with them and grow into there family.  Being with them has really allowed me to be more confident in myself and let go of things and just be ME... And they've made it clear also there always here for me..  Both Chad and Christy have helped out in so Many ways starting with supporting me in school and where life is leading me.  They are very honest with me.  List could go on but I am so happy there in my life and I love them both very very much.  Grace and sam have been the best siblings also and I have just grown so much with them within a year and I've known grace for a long time just by babysitting her over the years i've known her and that little tiger so has me wrapped around her little finger... I havent lived with a young one for such a long time so Its been interesting seeing Christy and Chad be "young parents" and they allow there kids to expeirence things adventurely** and be themselves I love it so They are my Family :) love themmmmm to death

Once again I could go on about all my families and my love for them all.  I thank God everyday that He has provided me with families to see different aspects and lives and I am grateful and I see in my future what should be....

no title to this song..... but i wrote it bout these families... :)

There comes a time
when you feel all alone
A simple fear turns into
a cry for help
would you take me aside
or pull away from my life

I need a friend
who can show me a way
They way the truth the light
Instead of getting caught in
sinful world its leading to
could they help calm my fears
and dry my tears
I'm needing a friend in this life

If I messed up a couple times
And allowed my life to be controlled
by my mind
With all the pride and lies
would it rattle me inside
My heart is finally breaking
with the pieces finally shattering in time

Would you hold my hand if i
float away
would you stand by my side
and tell me everythings ok
If I shed a tear
and showed you all of my fears
would you be my friend
or would you walk away.


***LOVE YOU GUYS FOREVER AND EVER

Lifes Joys:)

Well this is my first Blog.  I honestly did not know how to feel about this blogging thing because I thought it would take to much time and that it would just be difficult but nah I can do this.  All I can say is wow what an awesome God we have.  I just finished my first year at Emmaus Bible College and it was a blessing to be part of.  I really got to know so many great people and really grow in my relationship with Christ.  There was plenty of up and downs but I am thankful for all those moments cause it was life lesson learned. 

     To kick off the summer I got a chance to go to His Mansion in New Hampshire and let me tell you it was crazy and just an amazing experience I would recommend anyone to try out.  First week there we just served and helped around the Land.  For me I have never served like this before.  The first day I worked on raking rocks and chasing chickens... Well actually I didn't touch the chickens I tried and there to gross for me to handle.  The next few days I did after I just did alot of gardening.  I didnt really know the girls I was going to other than there name so I was quite nervous.  Well I roomed with three of them and I got to really know them and I am completely blessed we became friends.   Twelve of us got the chance to come to this place and we became close friends so when it was time to leave probably the most hardest thig for me because we grew as brothers and sisters.  One day we took a trip to the great Old Boston Massachusetts and it was beautiful and gorgeous and it was a city.  We got to know alot about the Freedom trail with Paul Reverre.  We visited Fenway Park sorry for all you Baseball fans but I just found out what that was.  I ate yummy shrimp and squid :) and Loved it.  And one of the last things we did was go to China town where I tried a suprising drink called Bubble tea.  There was tapioca ball things at the bottom of this drink and it was a awkward stunning suprised when you got one in your mouth.  Dr. Tso was our tour man and Director of His Mansion and He ordered us a 10 couse meal at a real chinese restraunt.  I tried the chop sticks and well my american blood would not allow me to use them so I used my hands and fork.  It was so delicious and i tried amazing duck for the first time.  Friday the Emmaus group got to lead the Prayer and Share which it was so awesome to hear what the Lord was providing for the students there.  As I was on stage singing I couldn't help look out and notice the crowd before me and my heart wanted to just cry and hug everyone of those people there in that room.  I loved those people just like they loved me and what the Lord has been doing in there life also.... Little update on what His Mansion is.. Its like ONE BIG FAMILY COMMUNITY.  and a place for people with addictions an hurting to come and serve and heal.  Another day a few of us had the day off and went to Salem Massachusetts to see the Witch trial stuff.  It was pretty sweet and creepy im not into the whole which stuff but was pretty bummed out when the lady told me that witches didn't have green faces and didnt fly on brooms.  :)  The next week we had classes.  These classes were called Healing in the Context of Community.  Going in I was nervous and it was nerve racking.  we learned alot about issues and the enviorment of His Mansion but I found out alot more on what the Lord wanted me to do and know..  I think I faced every emotion within the class.  One of the class times we shared our testimonies.  I was so nervous because I was about to tell my story in detail and i have not done that but I prayed and the Lord really got me through it and at the end I had a huge smile on my face because I am Okay :) and I made it through the ugly... its like a saying Joyce Meyer's once used  "beauty in the Ashes"  I couldn't cry because I have cried it all already and I had no reason to cry because it's no longer in my hands. 
   Being at His Mansion I learned alot about myself That i am glad to have gotten to see.  Working and doing labor im not use to was a new thing for me because I really never had to do stuff like that so an opportunity like that was eye opening.  I saw resideents of His Mansion working and the smiles on there face and relationships being built encouraged me so much.  They also ate dinner at the table at the same time together as a FAMILY.   This was different for me because I'm not use to eating breakfast lunch and dinner with a family everyday where there is a Head and foot at the table.  I love being able to get to know what was going on in others lives.  My heart just grew deeply in Love with His mansion and I know one day I will return.  My love for those people really just wow and I gained so much peace from this expeirence.. When I had to leave tears fell from my face because I felt so safe and at Home... But I'm suppose to be somewhere else right now but one day I will be back to His Mansion to Help and to serve .... During this time I got to write few lyrics... So heres some ideas

My heart it aches
the scars share
a story I could never tell
Theres no hope for me
in these wounds I recieve.

where can I seek a hand to hold
a heart that could be as gold
I'm ready to let go.

it's close to time
when every bit will fall
the peices will be restored
in the arms of God.

The scars they say but the memories fade away
my hope is in the truth that is brought forth to me.

Eyes of Love

I knowheres hope in the midst
of darkness
I know my heart
can feel relief
I know I can do anything
but its the matter of believe

Why can't i feel the abundance flow
why is numbness
filling up this soul
I can't see the other side
I need the eyes of love

I'm caught in between a child and adult
to take the chance of Love or give it all up
I feel my ease to release but wants the hold on
Is this risk i'm willing to take..

There is eyes of Love
who is willing to see.
Where beauty is in the fall
and theres hope in it all.
The eyes of Love will show
me the meaning of life.
And see its all worth the fight
Hope you guys enjoy my first blog... I'm really excited and it'll be fun...
Peace and Blessings
Brittany Nicole :)