Beauty in Pain

  First off can i start by saying we have such an awesome God.. For real... He has provided so much in this life and has control of All.  Psalms 13:1-6 talks about struggles and clinging to the truth during that time. I hear stories of heartache and brokeness and confusion going on in this sick world and I have felt the same way.  Its so easy to up and walk away and runaway from the Pain and the hurt of this life but there is a God who knows all and sees all and can heal your wounds.. God already sees your heart and He is there waiting for you in the midst of your pain.  Maybe the reasons these hurts and trials happen is to see where your trust in the Lord is and clinging on Him when you are faced with them.  God is so good at reminding you of your goodness and to give you comfort in your pain.  In this journey I've seen misery and felt misery for years before I knew the Lord and really just living in no hope.  I lived in guilt and sins because I felt like there was no way out.. Once I found Him and developed a Relationship with Christ it seemed right than and there the healing began and all pain fled from the heart.  There is always hope... Just think no one's pain is worst than what Christ went through He died for no reason He had no sin and he was tortured but He did it out of His own will to save us.  For me when time's get hard or rough I really think what is it the Lord wants me to see??  Maybe its turning my eyes upon Him rather than dwelling in the pain and suffering I am facing.. Any pain can be severe mercy giving us a focus on God... There is so much beauty in pain and realizing and thanking the Lord for all he's done in this life and understanding the reasons behind all... Just fix your eyes upon Jesus during all... :)

Lifes little bundle of joys

So an artist thats really been in  my head and has great words in her music is Elizabeth Hunnicutt.  I recommend all to listen to her music.. Its so rich and just so peaceful to listen to ... One of my favorite songs she sings is One Moment and o i have one more Deepest part of me.  If you need a good artist  I recommend listening to her :)

alexis jordan and I ( The reall sibs)

 Well recently I have really thought about what it means to be a sister.  I have one real brother and one real sister who mean the world to me... I would do anything for them.. At a young age probably around 3 I developed a real mommy like attitude and role.  I changed my sisters and brothers diapers at such a young age and fed them bottles and I loved it... For a long time i had really bad anxiety about where they were and what they were doing because I grew in this relationship at the age of like 4 and believed they were like my kids.  At family reunions all i wanted to do was be around babies I love kids more than ever.  Throughout the years My love for children grow and my love for my brother and sister grow.. I wish i could have been around more and wouldn't have said and done the things I've done but life goes on and I love them sooo much.  On my little journey in life I got to gather 3 more sisters and 2 more brothers.. And I love them.. They are such a huge blessing from God..   I really have had an opportunity to just grow with them and bond and love them like they are my real brother and sisters.  I guess I never realized how much of an impact i can be to one.. you kinda take a glimpse and realize wooooah.. I pray every night for there protection and they can grow in there relationship with Christ.  They have changed me in a wway of being more responsible and caring for them and loving them no matter what... Even though they can be a handful.. :) I want them to know I am always here and I will always be here no matter what and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH... It hurts to watch them grow up everyday but Its life... I am very motherly or at least i try to be but better yet be a loving sister who can be there and beat up my siblings...just kidding.. but I am very protective so no one messes with my bros and sisters for real :)  Another thing recently I've been blessed to watch this beautiiful precious gift who has my heart like no one's buisness she is my cousin she is almost 6 months old and her name is Brooklyn.. I was driving down the road and i had to stop and cry for a while because She is stinking precious and I just prayed for her life and her journey and to know she is love and has a plan and is LOVED... I've had a really great experience this past week and could not ask for a better one.  I just see things through these people i would have never seen before... To my brothers my sisters and my little chunky monkey I love you dearly forever no matter what
Love <3

mikayla jaryd and bryanna and I (very old picture)

 

 

sam and Grace ( my little hooligans and bundle of funnyons)

last but not least my little chunky monkey ( Brooklyn)